Muffinboy9 (9:07:02 PM): talks are up again about a new frat

Auto response from Vic719 (9:07:02 PM): "We must indeed all hang together, or, most assuredly, we shall all hang separately." - Ben Franklin

Muffinboy9 (9:07:42 PM): you appear to be a legend...from the intelligence i have gained on you...so you should be involved in helping building a foundation

Inspired by Elusivestate

1. I was too shy.

2. She was too popular.

3. She was too experienced

4. She didn't have the looks

5. She lived 1000 miles away.

6. She was too old

7. She taught me that silence is of the essence

8. She was as bad ass as i was.

9. She was a slut and taken.

10. She was the devil.

11. She is perfect. 

Lizard sleeping on its own now 

Skin to scale of open wounds now

we'll be washed of all these things

but dirtied in the loss of know how

and in the sunlight you'll arrest

the brittle frail left on your chest now

its the something that i'll take to rest

still lonely children on depressed foul

Manchester United ended Arsenal's 49-match unbeaten streak with a 2-0 win at Old Trafford in Manchester, england, with Ruud van Nistelrooy converting a penalty and Wayne Rooney scoring his first league goal for the club in injury time on his 19th birthday.

1. Don't ask your girlfriend to have a threesome. It's not happening, if she was that down that she would have one... you wouldn't have to bring it up, she would.

2. If you want to have sex with your girlfriends sister, don't tell her. You will never be trusted to be around her alone again.

3. If you want to have sex with your girlfriends mother, don't tell her. You will never be trusted to be around her alone again.

4. If your girlfriend can't cook, pretend she can... then secretly throw out everything she makes you, but tell her how good it was. If you tell her it was bad, you will never hear the end of it.

5.  Pretend you can't iron or clean well. Make sure you make repeated but lousy attempts to do  these things though, eventually she will think it is so cute that you try but just can't do it, then she will do them for you.

6. Don't comment on your girlfriends driving no matter how close to death you come or how angry other drivers get. Trust me on this one, it will save a whole lot of fights.

7. If an incredibly gorgeous girl is about to walk by, simultaneously grab your girls hand or put your arm around her as you eye the other chick up and down. The fact that you are giving your girlfriend so much attention around another hott female will totally blind her to the fact that you are checking out the other chick. Believe me she knows there is another hott body in the vicinity.

8. Give your girlfriend a dutch oven. (while in bed, lay a huge fart and pull the covers over her head.) This will make any other fart you drop seem like a negligible action, in other words no other fart will be as bad as the dutch oven... hence you may fart away.

9. Always ask before you change the channel, i bet many of you did not know this, but girls can watch tv in the living room (wedding story) from the bathroom with the hair dryer on.

10. If you want ass but don't feel like returning the favor, masturbate... this will save you a headache and blue balls. Don't expect hand-outs with a smile unless you are a rockstar or celebrity.

If anyone has anything else to add or some counter-opinions... feel free!

The boys better get their shit together. What they need is the hair-dryer treatment.. the likes of which Sir Alex Fergueson would give them.(manager of Manchester United)  He has been known to get in faces and yell so hard that the sweat in your hair will dry, it does the trick though. No more of this calm shit, we have to win and thats all. We still have a game in hand and now we are back in NY. The yanks have got to pull it off now, back to business as usual in the BX. There is no other way!

With that being said, it's time once again for the black dude on bagpipes:

SO here is what happened to me recently in my first, no second clash with an anti bush coward. The first one ,.. i was bringing my bush cheyney lawn sign into my apartment and some dude from the next building yelled "fuck bush" from his window then ducked back in.  Who does that? Then hides?  I wished he popped that to my face on the street, so i could see if he really wanted it.  Anyway so i had a Bush Cheyney Farm Ranch team sticker on the door of my apartment.

Its a real quiet building cooperative that you have to go through a whole screening process to get into and is crazy expensive. lets just say i pay upwards of 800 for a studio. So an anonymous letter shows up on my door saying how i am such a pleasant neighbor but my sticker is offensive... offensive?  Support for the president of the united states of america is offensive? What is this person a communist? They went on to say that House rules state that  we can not deface the doors as the hallways are all of ours to share.. yadayadayada.  So i took the sticker down and put my makeshift bush cheyney doormat out with a little letter in response... the balls of it being that well everyone has a doormat so it must be ok for me to have a bush cheyney doormat.. but wait its offensive? so that means the rule books have to be changed now, no political views are to be expressed in the entire building. I left my email and number and got no responses. Typical liberal cowardice.  I called the great one Mark Levin last night and told him my story, he was equally as appalled. That was great to, to be on the radio... though  i have nobody to gloat about it to except for my GF who was listening, and i honestly doubt she cares as much as she expresses. It was exciting talking to a hero of mine!!!

Beckham has netted the winning goal in Madrid's last two home games with almost identical shots from just outside the penalty area and earn his team six of its nine league points.

The England captain and Real Madrid midfielder's free kick brought Madrid a 1-0 win over Numancia in its first league game of the season at the Santiago Bernabeu Stadium on Sept. 11 and he repeated the performance on Tuesday with a 61st-minute strike to defeat Osasuna.

AP

Man Presumed Dead Attends Own Wake

News Edition: 09/21/2004

Squires was believed to have been hit and killed by a GO commuter train in the east end of Toronto last Friday night. His own sister, Diana, had identified his body at the coroner's office this week.

As Squires' relatives were leaving his funeral at an east-end Toronto funeral home Thursday, the funeral director came running out to say there was an important phone call.

"She ran out and she said, 'It's him. I talked to him.' And I just about fainted," his daughter Trina Squires told CFTO News. "I was like, 'That can't be for me. I can't handle this.'"

Squires reportedly discovered the problem when he read his own obituary in the newspaper.

After phoning the funeral home, Squires went to his sister's home in the city's east end where mourners were gathering for a wake, said a friend who was in attendance but refused to give his name.

A memorial service that was to be held next week in St. John's has now been cancelled.

Now police are looking to identify the real victim.

Toronto police Det.-Const. Dave Stirling says he doesn't know how the sister could have gotten the identification wrong, though noted the body was badly mutilated.

"There must have been a likeness," Stirling told the Sun. "It certainly is an unfortunate circumstance. It's certainly a shock."

Squires' sister Diana told CFTO that the victim looked "identical to my brother."

The deceased's body was taken from the funeral home and returned to the coroner's office for further investigation.

Coroner Dr. Barry McLellan said having a family member mistake a body is "an extremely rare occurrence."

"The relative was quite confident as to the identification," he said.

Police are once again seeking the public's assistance in identifying this man. He is described as: white, 6 feet tall, 180 lbs., 40–45, receding short brownish red hair and beard.

Mother Fuckers know what time it is???

This is one of my first posts, i need to get myself back up... one elusive state has inspired me.

Ahh yes, the undying question... What is blackanese??
Yea i used to tell people that i am black and Japanese mix, thats why i am soo handsome.( ) Well the Comedian/Actor Chris Tucker turned me on to the term Blackanese. You guessed it, Black and Japanese. So with this in mind... i used to go on, day by day realizing that hmmm sometimes i wake up craving some chicken and Old E,... Other days i crave some sushi and Sake. Yes it is all very clear to me, i am not 50%black and 50% Japanese... its a fluctuating ratio.. sometimes i wake up 51% black, 49% Japanese and vice versa. So for a while my head would hang down with the looming thought that no matter what i eat, i will only be at most 51% satisfied, not the 100% i yearn for. This went on for a while until one day at the mall i was sitting at the food court eating. I stopped, looked around confused... what is this feeling... i feel... 100% satisfaction right now, i feel whole, i feel serenity, i feel as safe as a joey in a marsupial pouch. Why??? I looked down at my food...
Gasp... Eureeka!!! CHICKEN TERIYAKI!!!! Best of Both Worlds.