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| Hamas |
| 03.24.04 (7:39 am) [edit] |
Fuck me, this is the 3rd time i am trying to write this cause i Xed it out by accident...Damn pop-ups.
So the shit has hit the fan in Israel, Sheik Ahmed Yassin is dead, the Hamas are heated beyond belief and just want revenge... did you see the papers "Revenge" "America will Pay" Umm did we kill him? They have since then called off the threats but still, you know it wasnt a US soldier that killed Yassin, if it was the nearest small town would have been destroyed while looking for him when we actually knew where he was, just kidding? If it was a US soldier you can bet he woulda been taken out sniper style and noone woulda known he was dead for 2 minutes cause the bullet that was lodged in his brain would have froze his body sitting straight up, eyes open. This guy got taken out by a missle from a helicopter... A MISSLE. ...I bet Sheik wished he was rubber (corny joke)... imagine being hit by a missle, i dont care how big, i don't want a baby missle hitting a dude 100 feet away from me. People in the world are wild, or maybe just passionate about what they believe in, i mean i am to, but if you dis my favorite band or dis my religious beliefs or something, i'm not gonna come at you with a 9mm bullet... i mean we do have freedom of speech right?
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1 Comments
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| Breaking the Fish seal |
| 03.22.04 (6:28 pm) [edit] |
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So this past weekend i got some pets, 3 fish. One is all black, one is silver with a greenish blue fin, and one is silver with a hint of black on the tail. The two silver fish hang out together and the black one just swims around by itself. I think they segregate, i'm not sure. I do know one thing, i fucked up now because i want more, and i want a bigger tank. Rule of thumb is one gallon per inch of fish, well i need a bigger tank already. I definitely need to get some of those angel fish, they are very handsome. now i want one of those in wall get ups or something nice with a stand. We are talking serious loot, a little to much for something that is gonna be like having kids. Wanna laugh at me?? So the hood of this tank that i bought said it needed a 15 watt bulb to light it up. What did i do? i supplemented that with a 60 watt bulb from the bathroom light fixture. I ended up eating fried fish that night, noo but i did melt the hood enough so that it looks retarded. Hey retarded is retarded does. See i really want a snake, but i am one of those people.. i'll get the snake and just wonder if it will bite... so i will handle until it does... then i'll probably blow a fuse and make a pair of shoes out of it. Its just like the stun gun thing, i want one... but i know once i get one i won't be satisfied till i know what it feels like and ill zap myself... can't be a good thing. Hmm i did that with my first BB gun, i shot myself in the hand because i was positive it wouldnt break skin, and i wanted to have the experience down pat before it happened against my will(we were wild ones back then) Damn come to think of it the same scenario went down with pepper spray, a mouse trap, and sticking a pen in the socket... seek help??? Affirmative. So anyway i named the black fish Kato, after Inspector Clousseu's housekeeper in the pink panther. The rest are nameless till someone comes up with something... any suggestions?
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4 Comments
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| Why Courtney Rocks |
| 03.18.04 (8:23 am) [edit] |
I'll be straight up, I don't care if its my wedding, my house, my confirmation... Courtney Love can come. I don't care what she wears, how fucked up she is, as long as she comes like the rock star she is. There are just no women out there holding it down like she does, shit there aren't any men doing it either. She is a true rock star. Motley Crue style, those guys rocked hard and partied harder. True, maybe she should start wearing a bra, but besides that... she is a party animal, a wild child. Hey she was married to Kurt Cobain, she could live forever on that fame alone. I don't know, i am not even to familiar with her music, a couple songs.. doll parts of course being my favorite. Still no matter how you look at it, this chick makes Cristina and Britney look like embryos.... I could see her yelling at them " Go back to the womb embryos, i'll lactate in your general direction" Anyhow she has a concert tonight, she got arrested 2:30 this morning for assault, did i mention wild? The concert is still on I'm gonna see if i can't will my way into the Bowery Ballroom.
Pick it up, Dangu!
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2 Comments
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| The Shoes i rock |
| 03.11.04 (8:49 am) [edit] |
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Write about something dumb, affirmative. Sneakers huh, well i'm no sneaker pimp.. you won't catch me with the hundred dollar pair of shoes. i think around 50 is my cut off. I just switched brands from Pony to KangaRoos, simply because too many people were wearing the ponys now. This is bound to happen to the Roos also, but for now its ok... I have taken Nike and Reebock out of my vocab, same as Puma. I sport adidas sambas cause they weigh an ounce and soccer is religion. Any other adidas, naaa. Any formal shoes are bought on a comfort basis with the 50 price cap. I will however spend 200 dollars on soccer cleats, rollerblades, and ice skates. Stacy Adams, i like that brand. with the fashion crazes and fads i may find myself wearing voits in the future or vision street wear or something. Who knows, THE END
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5 Comments
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| The "NEW IRAQ" |
| 03.09.04 (9:16 am) [edit] |
So it seems we got a few of those leaders over in Iraq to sit down and sign a "constitution". This can be looked at in several ways, i'll give you my opinion. This is the democrats nightmare, everything was going "good" for them, no weapons of mass destruction, many US casualties... jeez the President may have made a bad decision right?? wrong. Just when you thought it was over the Missionaries of Democracy persevere and make everything worth it. Thats how it will be looked at, thats how every member of congress will justify it all, and rightfully so. The people over there were out of control, disagree if you'd like, but we aren't talking about South Central LA in the 80's... people walk around there with AK's just waiting to clap something everyday. The order we seem to have brought, democracy if you will, should have the people of Iraq like pigs in shit. A military under control of the citizens, the women are finally getting some long deserved rights... a functioning judiciary system, sounds like a democracy to me. This is a power move for Bush and his campaign efforts, just as it will be when they pull Osama Bin Laden out of a hat this summer. These are smart people, who knows what they have up their sleeve.
Now lets get to some grounding reality, they are fucking Iraqi's, they celebrated the signing by firing their guns into the sky, did you ever see the birds in Iraq?? they don't fly, they walk... they know better... they have 12 yearolds that could be marine snipers, shit all i had was a BB gun. Not to say they won't conform, or that conforming is necessarily the right thing. This democracy thing sounds lovely on paper, but , for example purposes, say Russia saw us fighting a Civil War and were like, those silly Americans are gonna kill everyone, lets go over there and put a halt to this mayhem... we'll force them into Communism and everything will be fine... Remember, communism sounds good on paper also. how would we adapt??? I think temporarily we would conform till they HANDED US BACK FULL CONTROL OF OUR COUNTRY (which we will do in a few months to Iraq) and then we would let old habits remain undying and let tradition prevail... back to the drawing board! Well a smart Congress would have an agreement set up so that any collapse of democracy in Iraq would happen early in 2005. Damn i'm boring! 8)
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4 Comments
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| Funny Stuff |
| 03.08.04 (8:31 pm) [edit] |
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1 Comments
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| Life with no Pisser |
| 03.08.04 (9:03 am) [edit] |
It all started on Tuesday, the 2nd of March... the contractors came into my apartment to begin what was going to be a 3 or 4 day process. They were to redo my entire bathroom, pipes and all, because apparently the lady downstairs was getting dripped on in her bathroom. I hope it wasn't the dreaded feces rain you hear about so often. Ok so i had not even met these guys who were working in there, i am always at work before they get there and they leave before i get home. I do know that they have stripped me of my defecation and urination liberties. Good thing my mother lives 4 floors up, or this asshole would be a mess. Imagine waking up at 4 in the morning after a night of wine topped off with tea, you have to piss like a racehorse and there is no place to piss. That KFC cup looks mighty tempting. (did i do it? what do you think) To top that off, all the dry wall they have been cutting has left a sheet of dust all over my apartment, its like walking into Bates Motel. The dudes are cool though, i woke up to them on Saturday morning, a couple Mexican guys... for stereotypical purposes we will call them Jose and Juan, i don't discriminate (refer to Blackanese defined blog) so for this blog i will go by the name Yoshi Jackson. anyway if i had a porn collection these dudes woulda found it, they removed all the contents of my closet to get to some piping. I have built a certain amount of trust for the dudes though, i mean i leave all my valuables and collectibles in the apartment (there is alot of stuff) and they leave their pork rinds overnight,... i don't fuck with their rinds, they don't fuck with my stuff. its a wonderful relationship. Maybe tomorrow morning i will leave a 12 pack of coronas in the bathroom on ice... either it will act as incentive and my bathroom will get done quicker, or they will get loaded, forget to regulate the water pressure on the flusher, and the first time i drop a deuce i am gonna get a water gush so far up my ass that i won't ever need my colon cleansed. Maybe i'll hold off on the beer. I'll update!
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WHAT I CAN LOOK FORWARD TO
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2 Comments
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| Who cares about Stewart |
| 03.07.04 (4:28 pm) [edit] |
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I personally don't give a rats ass about Martha Stewart for a couple reasons. First, she is filthy rich... her status being what it is, will have her spending her so called "prison time" at a club med prison camp down in Florida. She will be in better surroundings than my studio apartment. Secondly, she won't admit that she was being a sneaky little bitch who was selfish and worried about losing 2 or 3 of her several hundred million. Yea she did nothing wrong like R Kelly likes Milfs. Third, she gets convicted of all these counts, and yet i still see her angelic face on TV making cookies and flower arrangements... lets face it, she is not going anywhere. Women (but not only women) love her. All this speculation about her business dwindling, i doubt that, maybe for a week. The majority will let her slide on these charges like black people embraced R Kelly after he banged a 12 yearold, Shit her stock is going to go up. If you were Martha would you be worried right now??? or would you be planning to set up a basket weaving program down at Fed Camp,,, the hype is strictly that, hype. This lady has nothing to worry about, the dirt she must have done over her life and she just got caught now at 60.. she should be happy. She should go do her time, come back and retire to millions.
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2 Comments
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| Blackanese Defined |
| 03.05.04 (10:16 am) [edit] |
Ahh yes, the undying question... What is blackanese??
Yea i used to tell people that i am black and Japanese mix, thats why i am soo handsome.( :wink: ) Well the Comedian/Actor Chris Tucker turned me on to the term Blackanese. You guessed it, Black and Japanese. So with this in mind... i used to go on, day by day realizing that hmmm sometimes i wake up craving some chicken and Old E,... Other days i crave some sushi and Sake. Yes it is all very clear to me, i am not 50%black and 50% Japanese... its a fluctuating ratio.. sometimes i wake up 51% black, 49% Japanese and vice versa. So for a while my head would hang down with the looming thought that no matter what i eat, i will only be at most 51% satisfied, not the 100% i yearn for. This went on for a while until one day at the mall i was sitting at the food court eating. I stopped, looked around confused... what is this feeling... i feel... 100% satisfaction right now, i feel whole, i feel serenity, i feel as safe as a joey in a marsupial pouch. Why??? I looked down at my food...
Gasp... Eureeka!!! CHICKEN TERIYAKI!!!! Best of Both Worlds.
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5 Comments
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| Howard Stern |
| 03.05.04 (9:12 am) [edit] |
Some may hate him, some may love him... all must credit him with changing radio and television forever. Before him, what was a shock jock?? Someone who said "crap" or "damn"? For years and years this guy has been pushing boundaries all ove the place, countless fines and warnings, now what happens... his days are almost numbered. why? well the few will tell you that he let a caller get out of hand and say racial slurs... i was listening that morning... Howard had the guy that banged Paris Hilton in the studio. Some caller asked him if he had ever been with a "nigger" and what do they taste like watermelon? Well ok thats wrong, but noone in the studio is a racist, the caller was... and the thing is , there have been worse comments made in the past... but all of the sudden clear channel (who may as well have a monopoly on every means of music) have a zero tolerance rule and those comments broke it. Whatever, what is seemingly more and more the truth is that Stern recently, consistently bashed the president and said Bush needed to be out. Hmmm.. Clear Channel is a big contributer to the republican party, heavy donators, bed fellows even. Had these comments been made two years ago... no problem, but now there is an election approaching. Stern has proven to be able to swing elections, get people into office just by endorsing or bashing. Now as large as his audience is, take into consideration his loyal followers that will do what he says, vote for who he wants... we all know the term swing-state. The last presidential election was won by like 5 electoral votes, oversimply, 1 state. You are damn right there was a threat. I will forever vote republican and disagree with Stern about Bush, but what is happening to him is just wrong. To see the power of corporations these days, and how they regulate our liberties... its sickening. We have the right to listen to what we want, if people don't like it... Change the frickin channel. Stern will have no problem getting another job if it comes down to it, a talk show maybe, XM radio??? Who knows. Good Luck.
PS- if anyone heard Stern yesterday and experienced the chick qweefing to a song by Enya, you know why we need this guy on the radio... tooo funny
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2 Comments
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| Hamsters |
| 03.04.04 (2:14 pm) [edit] |
In my last blog i referred to a pesky co-worker as a Hamster, or Hamster boy... Before the controversy really heats up about whats so wrong with being like a Hamster, i would like to add that you animal rights activists are looking at it the wrong way. Why Hamster Boy? Well its more like Rodent boy, you know a pest, you don't want them around... but yet in the life of things they play their role. Well isn't a hamster just the cutest and cuddly of the rodents??? I think i was being nice. Hmmm the only thing i can see happening now is a couple of real Hamsters scurrying their way into my apartment and saying "YO what the fuck is up with comparing us to that Tool Box friend of yours?" Hey i love hamsters, i had one... it was a a great pet... but it didn't talk and wear suspenders. Anyone have another name i should use instead of Toolbox or Hamster boy...
Shit, one day i may get a picture of him on here and you all will be like "Yea Hamster boy is fitting" :twisted:
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1 Comments
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| Damn! That was racist! |
| 03.04.04 (9:32 am) [edit] |
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So i hitched a ride home with this dude Ken that i work with. He is also known as ToolBox, or Hamster Boy... you guessed it, the kid is a tool, and a hamster. So Toolbox gladly gave me a ride home, you gotta keep in mind... this kid is the white Steve Urkel, just more annoying and with less talent, and on the way (he gave another guy Rob a ride home also) we brought up this former employee who got canned a while back. I guess i made the mistake by describing her as this huge black chick.. cause before i could get into the story of her getting canned, Hamster boy was all " what did she do to get fired, sit around and eat fried chicken all day?" Now i am a big Dave Chappelle fan and i have an awesome sense of humor.. so right off the bat i started laughing, laughing cause i thought... damn that was a racistly funny joke, then i was thinking to myself for a bit, (mind you i am half black myself, half Japanese) Did this Hamster just make a racist joke?? I mean its one thing if you are black and making a stereotypical joke about your own people and you are a comic, but this toolbox probably thinks black people really go home and scarf chicken like Doomsday is coming. I looked at him, he didn't even know he may have made an alternative comment, he was just driving along in his own Hamster world. Oh well what can you do right, i still think its funny, but seriously folks... That was racist!!
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8 Comments
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